“[Animals] restore our forgotten childlike wonder at the world, and they reawaken our lost belief in magic, dreams and possibilities.” 1
I am human.
What else could I be? I had no idea upon first being asked what my spirit animal was. I was bewildered. Being somewhat afraid of animals can do that to you.
However, once the vision quest came on and I slipped from reality into a semi-dream, semi-thoughtful state, imagining the journey the speaker described, I slowly lost my doubt. I was walking through a forest, leaves crunching beneath my feet, slim silver trunks glittering at the edge of my vision, when a warm feeling of safety caressed me. I knew something – or someone – was approaching. I continued to stroll leisurely, glancing about at my surroundings (which looked much like I imagined a mix of Lothlorien and Sherwood Forest to look) with piqued curiosity, until I felt a presence above my shoulder. It was strong, and old, and unwavering. I could feel a sort of ancient wisdom near me, and it was terrifying as well as captivating, and strangely soothing.
It was Owl.
Guardian
As I thought more and more about my spirit animal over the first few weeks of class, I noticed another presence touching me. Owl was always there, perched sometimes on my shoulder, sometimes on branches above me, but always near, a strong, watchful spirit to keep me company. However, a smaller, lighter, effervescent being was visiting me often, touching playfully upon my awareness. I was intrigued. It felt like my kindred spirit, something fairy-like and magical, and too quick for me to catch. Being my kindred spirit however, its identity could not be hidden long; when I realized what my new friend was, I knew with utter certainty that this too was my spirit animal.
It was Hummingbird.
Kindred Spirit
Having two spirit animals is helpful in the sense that there is a diverse array of knowledge to tap into. I have much to learn from both of them, but I feel that Owl serves as a guardian spirit, while Hummingbird is closer in character to my own personality.
“Owl’s voice travels far, telling of the mysteries of dreaming and the feminine…She signifies introspection, and having looked deeply into the dark and witnessed its secrets, she is a keeper of wisdom.” 2
I have always been fascinated by owls. I have an owl necklace which I wear embarrassingly often, and there is a picture of an owl on my Inspiration Wall in my room. There is an image deeply impressed in my memory, a National Geographic photograph of a snowy owl, its head swiveled to face the camera, great golden eyes piercing straight through the picture and into the viewer’s soul. I’m not certain why I remember this image – we stopped receiving National Geographic several years ago - but that straightforward, unafraid stare touched me in some indelible way. I was a naturally shy person, and the fearlessness of the owl struck me deeply. I used to watch for owls when I was a child, hoping one would bring me an invitation to attend Hogwarts. I nearly attended Rice University, whose mascot is an owl, and am now a Plan II student – the mascot for whom is also an owl! One of my closest cousins is named Athena after the goddess of Wisdom. Athena’s symbol is the owl. In hindsight, I probably could have picked the owl as my favorite animal a long time ago, but it’s difficult for me to choose a favorite animal, considering the fact that I can never get too close to one.
Owl Necklace
I have always been afraid of animals – fascinated and intrigued by their beauty, but from a distance. I loved to read about them in both fictional and non-fictional stories, but couldn’t get too near. My father once took me to a petting zoo, and while the other children delightedly cuddled the lambs and goats, I locked my arms around my father’s neck and cried. However, having the owl as my spirit animal feels completely natural. It is the animal that has cropped up in my life most often; not in person, but in spirit. Like the owl, I’m very introspective. I often sink deep into thought, letting my surroundings fall away, content to examine some issue or thought alone. I am comfortable in solitude as well as company, and my creative processes come to full fruition in the dark. The owl is a creature of the night, as am I. I am fascinated by the jet black inky quality of the night sky, the mystery and elusive spirit of the darkness, and the silky coolness of evening. This fascination becomes my inspiration.
While taking art classes, I had a lot of work to bring home. I nearly drove my father to madness when he found out how late I’d stay up working on my artwork, so I stopped informing him. My mother, another creative soul, found my odd habits completely natural. It wasn’t that I didn’t desire sleep, or that I wasn’t dead tired – I was. But something more important, something much bigger than me took over, infused me with the energy of inspiration, and gave me no choice but to get to work. I became a creature of the night. The qualities of the dream world would flow into my artwork as well. It became very easy for me to identify with Owl once I recalled both of our affinities for the dark.
Late night inspiration
Owl is also known for its intuition and wisdom. I would not call myself wise, but I am an old soul. I feel both far older than my years, and far younger – but I’ll get to the younger part later. I am very alert and observant around people, and notice what others may not. I like to understand how people think, and therefore, observe them in ways different from what’s considered normal. This may be a sort of wisdom, because through my observation and watchfulness, I learn a lot about human nature. I tend to listen more than talk about myself and have been known to offer good advice to friends. People can come to me to talk about any issues weighing on their minds, because I don’t judge. I believe in the importance of lending a sympathetic ear. The Owl’s “gift is actually ‘soul wisdom’ more than intellectual knowledge’.” 3 Through my heightened awareness, I gain a sort of intuitive knowledge – or perhaps the experiences I observe simply enhance my instincts. Whatever the case, I’ve gained a lot of intuitive knowledge through my habits of observation. I feel this connection to the Owl is symbolized by its large, round, watchful eyes.
There is a lot I hope to learn from Owl. Owl is solid and strong and knows exactly what to do. I, on the other hand, tend to be indecisive and somewhat flighty – until I’ve settled on whatever decision my instincts direct me to. Owl is fearless and proud, and I am not. Owl is powerful and knowledgeable and holds an ancient wisdom in its spirit, and I am honored to be guided by it. It is not a cuddly, warm creature, but its presence and steely protectiveness is comforting.
The Hummingbird, on the other hand, feels like my best friend.
Whatever the case, there is a kinship between us. I have only had one physical encounter with a hummingbird, but the creature has always held a sort of elusive fascination over me. In Evansville, when I was a child, we grew plenty of flowers and plants. Due to the lovely weather, we spent much of our time outdoors, playing rambunctiously in the backyard with our rabbits or relaxing on the patio with snacks. One day, we had the glass doors open while we ate in the kitchen, and all of a sudden, my mother spoke up in a hushed tone of awe. She’d spotted a hummingbird! I caught a glimpse of it, and was absolutely floored by its breathtaking beauty and otherworldly speed. It was a magical creature, flitting here and there in flashes of jewel bright color, partaking of the sweet nectar our plentiful flowers had to offer.
Physically, we are somewhat similar. We are both considered small in stature and perhaps a little frail or delicate in nature. We are fond of color – though I may not dress as brightly as a hummingbird, as an artist I have a deep appreciation of rich, gem-like colors. We are both quiet and loving and more than slightly intoxicated with the sheer joy of life. We both have very optimistic views, and are known for our happiness. I find that smiling is my natural state of being, and always look on the positive side of any situation. After losing that attitude at a certain point in my life, I’ve learned that there is always a silver lining to any cloud and that the important thing is to keep up a joyful outlook.
Colors burning bright
However, appearances are also deceiving. Hummingbird looks delicate, but is really a survivor. In fact, Hummingbird consumes more than its own weight in nectar, and has no fat – its rapid metabolism ensures that it is constantly in danger of starving to death. 4 This requires the creature to be strong and powerful in order to continue the life it so enjoys. I too, may look small and gentle, but I am also a black belt in tae kwon do. It is not a trait I reveal in everyday conversation, but the fact that I too am a survivor lies beneath my surface.
Like Hummingbird, I appreciate beauty. It spends its entire life amongst flowers, drinking the sweet ambrosia of the nectar. It is drawn to color and beauty. As an artist, I love aesthetics. I like finding beauty in conventionally ugly things and ugliness in beautiful things. I like imperfections. I am happiest when my surroundings are a source of inspiration. However, aesthetics are not only seen; they are also heard. The Hummingbird’s rapidly beating wings look ethereal and create a humming music which accompanies the Hummingbird through life. I live my life to the sound of music as well. If it isn’t physically playing somewhere near me, there will be a song in my head humming through my blood. It’s the music of inspiration, the music to which I beat my drums, the music with which I see the world.
Humming Wings
More than anything else, Hummingbird and I share a childlike sense of wonder. I often feel much younger than I am. I find it hard to believe that I am already 18 – in fact, this summer I told a stranger I was 16, before correcting myself and informing him I was in fact 17, before remembering that no, I was actually 18. I spend a lot of time around those much older than me, so I can bring out the childishness in them too. Hummingbird is free and light and carefree, and I try to be too. I don’t want to be weighed down by worries or burdened by negative thoughts. I am playful and silly, and Hummingbird is too. I am sensitive and don’t let others close to me very easily or quickly, like the delicate bird, but I love to travel and wish I could fly from place to place. I am curious about everything, and love to explore. Hummingbird spends its lifetime in the air, flitting from flower to flower, and I dream of flitting from city to city throughout the world.
Learning what my spirit animals came as a surprise to me, but once I learned more about each and discovered the connections we have, everything seemed to slide into place. It is clear that I have an affinity with flying creatures, which I actually expected. The freedom of flight and the openness of the vast sky, the ability to explore beyond the horizon and do absolutely whatever is desired have always fascinated me. It’s because I love discovery, and there are a few things I have recently discovered:
I am human.
I am Owl.
I am Hummingbird.
I am animal.
FINAL WORD COUNT
With quotations: 2038
Without quotations: 1976
MULTIMEDIA
NOTES
1. Andrews, Ted. “Animal-speak: The Spiritual and Magical Powers of Creatures Great and Small.” in Composition and Reading in World Literature, edited by Professor Bump, 63. Jenn’s Copy & Binding, 2010
2. Luttichau, Chris. Animal Spirit Guides: Discover Your Power Animal & the Shamanic Path. London: CICO Books, 2009. Print.
3. Farmer, Stephen D. Power Animals: How to Connect With Your Spirit Animal Guide. California: Hay House Inc, 2004. Print.
4. Hummingbird Metabolism: Ruby-throated “Hungrybirds.” Hummingbird: Journey North. Web. 20 Sept. 2010. http://www.learner.org/jnorth/tm/humm/EnergyTorpor.html.
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
1. EcoScraps, “Smithsonian Reports Spotted Owl in Danger Again,” http://ecoscraps.com/tag/barred-owl/
2. Wouter, TrekEarth, “Hummingbrid,” http://www.trekearth.com/gallery/Central_America/Costa_Rica/East/Alajuela/Santa_Elena/photo231305.htm
3. I took this picture myself
4. Photo taken by my mother
5. My original artwork
6. lennieappelquist.com, “A Hummingbird Morning,” http://www.lennieappelquist.com/personal/a-hummingbird-morning/
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